Archive for August, 2012

About SAMS

Posted in humour with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2012 by vagabondsaint

A FEW BRIEF WORDS ABOUT SHORT ANGRY MAN SYNDROME (SAMS)

 

Short Angry Man Syndrome (SAMS for, erm, short) is a serious medical condition affecting millions of short little f***s worldwide. Men who suffer from SAMS often feel persecuted in a world dominated by tall people and harassed by those unable to relate to their lack of height. Having their youthful dreams of playing for the NFL or the NBA dashed by cruel P.E. teachers who tell them to go be jockeys instead means their feelings of persecution start in childhood and lasts all of their little lives. SAMS sufferers manifest their illness and their uncontrollable desires to punish those taller than 5’9″ in a number of ways, including:

 

-being acerbic bastards

-becoming stand-up comedians

-collecting guns and knives

-being really good in bed

-being black, living in Minnesota, and temporarily changing their name to an unpronounceable symbol

-being superb lovers

-marrying Nicole Kidman and/or Katie Holmes

-doing things to you in bed that will have even atheists seeing God

-becoming NASCAR drivers

-being absolutely fan-f***ing-tastic in bed and on most household furniture

 

Please, if you know someone that suffers from SAMS, repost this status for half an hour and remember to treat the little bastards in your life with dignity, love, and respect – and a fair chance at completely rocking your world, sexually. That is all these little people want (also, they will totally pwn your vagina, given a chance).

 

Thank you.

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