Archive for GOP

Quick Shots

Posted in brilliance, economics, legal system, politics, randoma, reproductive health, the complete opposite of brilliance, war with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2009 by vagabondsaint

Some insight into my blog-writing process:  every day, I read the Huffington Post, New York Times, and various other internet news sources looking for interesting things to write about.  Once I find something, I bookmark it in a folder called “blog ideas,” to look into later or do more research about – or totally ignore.  Of the things that I find, maybe 20% of them actually do get written about here; for others, I lose interest, the moment’s urgency passes, I just don’t have enough to say on the topic to justify a full entry, or I just never get around to the actual writing part. (I do have a life, and it sometimes gets in the way.)  Sometimes I just don’t know what to say.

Now that my list has grown way too bloody long, I’ve decided to share some of the things I didn’t write about before.  However, since there are so many, I’ll have to limit my comments on each item to just one or two lines and let you read the links.

Basically, this is my bookmark clearing-house.  Ready, set. . .go!

1. Missouri coffee drinkers share the hot, steaming cup of love!

2. Smarter than the average bear?  Maybe.  Smarter than a top-of-the-line bear-proof canister? Definitely!

3. When this guy says he’s “gotta see a man about a horse,” call the police.

4. You know the real estate market is rough when people get violent over Monopoly properties. . .

5. It’s not just Alaska’s problem:  rape victims in many places often have to foot the bill for examinations and rape kits.

6. Something to keep in mind next time you call someone a slut. . .or are called one yourself.

7. When you’re tripping balls, every bush is on fire and can talk – so was Moses just high?

8. Conservative think-tank (they can think?) Heritage Foundation calls a bill pushing for harsher child-rape penalties “overcriminalization.” People, I beg you, do not trust Republicans around your children.

9.  Yes, Dear Canada, America is, in fact, on crack.

10. The Chinese have better political sensibilities than we do; they trust sex workers more than politicians.

11. Proof that God has a sense of humour: A British actor in a swine flu prevention commercial came down with – wait for it – swine flu.

12. What you’ve always suspected is true:  your brain really is working against you. As is the CIA.

13. If you only click one of these links, for the love of all that’s good and holy, make it this one about how and why conservative are always wrong. . .with historical evidence to back it up.  Brilliant!

14. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder – and the Photoshop of the photo editor.

15. I don’t know how to fix the obesity problem in this country, but I’m pretty sure that this is the wrong tactic.

16. Looks like freedom of speech only goes so far. . .

17. Why is John McCain the only Republican willing to stand up to conservative nutjobs? There’s gotta be more somewhere. . .

18. When a machete- and gun-wielding convicted killer gets better health care than his surviving victim, something is well and truly fucked up in this country.

19. Who’s really out to kill Grandma? It ain’t who you’d think.

20. “In recognition of your service to this country, we’re going to take away your child custody rights. Thank you!”

21. Welcome to Tennessee, where you can carry guns in bars, parks, and – wait a second, maybe not so much the parks.

22. “‘Round these here parts, you start wavin’ a picture of  Obama with a Hitler ‘stache, you can ‘spect a asswhuppin from an old Armenian man, and that’s how it should be.”

23. If you’re in a POW camp, Monopoly is a great, fun way to pass the time – or, you know, help you break out.

24. So, that high-tech phone you’ve got?  Chances are, if it gets stolen, its makers would rather force you to buy a new one than help you get it back.  The bastards.

25. Last but certainly not least, some sexual assault prevention tips that are guaranteed to work!

Whew!

VS – 09.22.09

Moment of Brilliance, #4: Keith Olbermann Tells The Truth

Posted in brilliance, politics with tags , , , , , , on August 11, 2009 by vagabondsaint

Keith Olbermann rocks.

Just watch and/or read.

VS – 08.11.09

Glengarry Glen ‘Bama

Posted in brilliance, economics, politics with tags , , , , on February 6, 2009 by vagabondsaint

(with apologies to David Mamet)

WASHINGTON, DC – (AP)

Speaking today before a group of GOP Senators and Representatives, President Barack Obama gave his most stinging rebuke of their opposition to his stimulus bill.

The remarks left many Republicans feeling ashamed and remorseful.

“I quit,” said newly-elected RNC Chairman Michael Steele.  “Obama made me realize today that, after my struggles to succeed as a young black man in this country, all I did was join the party that fought hardest to oppress me.”

“What have I done?  May MLK forgive me,” Steele added, collapsing in tears and singing “We Shall Overcome In Spite Of All I’ve Done To Set My Race Back 50 Years”.

Several other prominent Republicans were unable to comment, having curled into the fetal position on the floor and able only to sob quietly to themselves.  Others quite fairly labeled themselves as “enemies of America” and demanded they be shipped immediately to Guantanamo Bay.

“Khalid al-Sheik O’Whatever we’ve got down there. . .I’ve done way more to harm this country than he ever could,” said a visibly shaken John Boehner, as Secret Service agents led him away in leg-irons, at his own request.  “Lock me away, please, I’m a monster.”

Other Republicans, like John McCain (R-AZ) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) simply died of shame on the spot.  They will not be missed.

A full transcript of the President’s remarks is below.

[begin transcript]

Thank you, thank you.  I’ll keep my remarks brief; we all have a lot of work to do.

As you all know, you have all been very fiercely opposed to my stimulus package, unless numerous concessions are made to get the package more in line with traditional Republican values, such as tax cuts, more defense spending, and no money allocated for education, infrastructure repair, or family planning for the poor.

I am her today to tell you this:  piss off.  I’m not changing the stimulus package.  If the American people wanted to keep doing things the same way that got us into this mess in the first place, Ted Stevens and Norm Coleman would still be here, I’d still be in the Senate, and you’d be talking to President McCain today.

You’re not.  You’re talking to me, and I say sod your fucking tax cuts.  They don’t work, they never have worked, and they never will.  You’re a one-trick pony party, and we’re all bored of it.  So go ahead and filibuster the stimulus package in the Senate.  You think we can’t wait you out?  Most of you are old and will run out of breath fairly quickly, so no worries there.  For the rest of you, well, we’ll bring in some hookers, and that’s at least David Vitter out of the way right there.  We got ways to handle y’all, is what I’m saying.  You lost the election.  The American people don’t want to do things your way anymore.  If you filibuster this, or you vote against it, you can go back to your constituents and tell them to your faces why you tried to kill a bill that would have fixed their schools, would have helped drug addicts go to rehab, would have prevented unwanted pregnancies, would have brought improved infrastructure, better environmental protections, and new jobs to their areas.  You can tell them how you fought against a change that would have benefited all Americans, conservatives, liberals, and moderates alike, and you’ll have to do it alone. . .Rush Limbaugh ain’t coming to help you.  Try giving a poor, starving family with no home and too many mouths to feed a Bible and Rush Limbaugh’s latest book, then ask ’em what they think of you.  I suggest running before they answer.

Now, you might be saying under your quivering lips – or maybe that’s just old age – “who is this guy?  Who is this Washington outsider to come here and talk to us like this?  Who does he think he is?  What has he done?  What’s his name?”

Fuck you.

That’s my name.

You know why?

Because I ran a campaign on a message of hope, a promise of change, and with a running mate who sticks his foot in his mouth so often he’s come to love the taste of his own toejam.  You ran a Spanish-American War veteran, partnered with a ditz whose IQ is lower than her bra size. . .and I WON.

THAT’S my name.

[end transcript]

****************************************

Please, Obama, let me be your speechwriter? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?

VS -2.6.09

The GOP: God, I Hate You All (with frequent cameo appearances by the f-word)

Posted in politics, the complete opposite of brilliance with tags , , , , on February 5, 2009 by vagabondsaint

You know, when a football team loses a game, they re-evaluate their strategies, their tactics, maybe even their footwear.  They train harder and try harder to beat the next team they have to play against.  In essence, they learn the lesson that they were doing something wrong in that game that they lost and it’s time to make some changes and try again.

Not so, the Republican Party.

Since their trouncing in the 2008 elections (you remember that, when John McCain lost by one vote for every year of his age, giving Barack Obama the largest popular-vote victory in American history), the Republicans have not learned.  They’ve not gotten better.  They haven’t learned that maybe the 21st century demands that they moderate themselves a little bit to be more acceptable to mainstream America, that extremism, be it from the left or the right, is swiftly falling out of favour in today’s world.

Not only have they not learned, they’re being just as much a bunch of stupid old white men, scared of change and determined to punish the poor, as they have ever been.  And they apparently perceive their thew newfound status as the minority party means they have to do everything in their power to block whatever the new administration wants to do.  Never mind the desperate need for action right now, they want to be a bunch of penny-ante piquant little bitches about things like, for example, the stimulus bill’s $200 million dollar provision to provide family planning services for poor women, which the Congressional Budget Office figured would save taxpayers about $400 million in unwanted pregnancies and abortions.  Fewer abortions!  Right there!  Isn’t that what Republicans want?  Apparently they don’t want it bad enough to leave a measly $200 million to help poor people in an $800 billion bill!  God forbid we should give a single fucking penny to help poor people!

But wait, say the Republicans, we think the entire stimulus should be composed of tax breaks!  Yes, tax breaks!  The Republican cure-all for financial woes!  After all, Bush’s tax cuts worked so well that they kept the nation out of the worst depression in 70 years, right?

WRONG! SO FUCKING WRONG! If “right” was a steak dinner at a fancy restaurant with American waiters, “tax breaks” would be the equivalent of dumpster-diving behind Taco Bell; that’s how wrong they are!

Here it is, in plain simple English: tax breaks don’t work.  Sure, if people got out and actually spent the money, they might work, but studies and experience show that people tend to keep it, rather than spend it.  You don’t have to take my word for it; there’s evidence all over the place that tax breaks just don’t fucking work.

But that’s the Old Cranky White Guy party for you; they fear change.  They don’t know how to change.   When the American public mandates change by tossing a goodly number out them out of office, they panic and start looking to a hypocritical demagogue that, in a just world, would have overdosed on oxycontin and Big Macs long ago:  Rush Limbaugh.

Rush fucking Limbaugh.  Mr. “We should all support the President in a time of war” is now Mr. “I Hope Obama Fails!”  What a fucking hypocrite!  That “time of war”?  It ain’t over yet, jackass!  Things are worse now than they were when you were such a “support the President” guy, and now you want the President to fail?  Fuck you, you useless bastard!  All you have to do is sit on your ass and host a radio show!  You don’t have to try to keep 300 million people fed, clothed, and happy while dealing with diplomatic crises and being picked apart by every dipshit with an agenda and a laptop!  Rush Limbaugh shouldn’t be on the radio, he should be [EDITOR’S NOTE:  The rest of this paragraph has been censored.  Be happy you missed it.  The stuff in that paragraph would have made Hannibal Lecter lose his cookies.]

And when in the hell did I get an editor?

Note to Republicans:  listening to Rush Limbaugh helped the GOP in the 1990s.  Listening to Rush Limbaugh in the 21st century will only get you even further marginalized, denigrated,  embarassed, and made more of a laughingstock than you already are.  Fucking idiots.

And as for the new RNC chairman, Michael Steele (which sounds like a porn name; sorry, but it does), I think Jon Stewart described him best.  He makes it obvious in that clip that, despite his messages of “change,” he’s going to keep the GOP doing the same stupid shit that fucked us all when they had control of Congress and the White House.  Their main concern right now isn’t fixing the problems they caused; it’s figuring out how to get back into power so they can keep fucking up America.

For fuck’s sake, America, don’t vote for these goddamned fearful idiots anymore.

I’m a bit pissed at the GOP. . .does it show?

VS – 2.6.09